Saturday, July 10, 2010

Aid for the introverted dater

As a introvert in an extroverted world, I often need reminders about why I am the way I am. When I'm feeling particularly overwhelmed and struggling with some variation of 'why can't I just...?' it helps to go back and read some of the materials I've gathered on introversion and personality types.

A couple of months ago I discovered (through judicious web surfing) Nancy R. Fenn, the Introvert Coach. If you are willing to overlook the lack of website 'shininess', you'll find a wealth of articles, stories, tips and guides purely for introverts.

A few weeks ago I purchased one of the ebooks, Dating for Introverts. For the bargain price of US$5.95, I got 84 pages of relief from wondering why I still struggle to make connections in a city that supposedly houses over 6 million people.

I sat at my computer in the loungeroom reading avidly, periodically jumping up to call over my (also introverted) housemates to excitedly point out another nugget of truth. One of the mantras that stuck with me was "It's not against YOU. It's for ME'" from the SLAP ME SILLY IF I DON’T CORRECT MY SELF-TALK CHART for Dramatic Long Term Effects in Increased and Appropriate Self Esteem and Success in Dating. (If that title alone doesn't convince you it's worth buying, well, let me say BUY IT!).

I haven't yet had to say that to anyone, but saying it to myself helps me feel "normal" when I choose to close the door to my office or opt out of an invitation to a social event that I just don't have the energy for.

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If you don't know what an introvert is (and you might not, since we make up well under half the general population), or you want to know what kind of introvert you are, take a look at these websites:
Keirsey Temperament Sorter

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